Maid Mayhem in Konoha
by Squishyfox
Summary: This is in no way a serious fic, but rather a ridiculous crackfic written for a friend. Written for the purpose of being terrible, but the good kind of terrible. The economy has crashed in the Naruto world, so the Akatsuki must find new jobs! Sasori and Deidara find new jobs at a Maid Cafe, but also find love?


Living life as an exiled criminal is never easy. It is even worse when there are two exiled criminals. People are angry about being killed, the law is always after you - it is amazing how hard it is to kill someone these days. The economy was tough due to a recent disaster involving the dying of many pink sweaters, so shinobi were taking any jobs anywhere they could. The Akatsuki found their pursestrings tight like Sasori's ass and searched for new jobs. Kisame got a job at an aquarium. Pein got a job at a piercing parlor. Konan became a newspaper and travelled door to door. Sasori and Deidara found solace in each other;s company in their new careers at the maid café.

It had been two weeks since they had started their jobs at the maid café, and already they had become a popular item, like the daily special as the ramen shop. All their fellow maids fawned over Deidara's lovely blonde locks, which they had quickly done up in pigtails. Deidei had become their new playtoy, adorable like a little puppy in his short skirt and apron. Sasori on the other hand was far more shy, and was considered to be that shy quiet girl in the anime, but wasn;t a girl, but a guy.

This was their first night closing the shop on their own, as the other girls had planned a spa night, no boys allowed. How that was a good business idea in a maid café, nobody knows. Sasori collected all the plates as Deidara wiped the tables. Suddenly Deidara dropped his cloth.

"Oops, I dropped my cloth." Deidara said before bending over, allowing Sasori to see a full moon, and not of the lunar variety.

Sasori blushed upon seeing his comrad's bare bottom, as he felt his heart flutter. What a perfectly shaped ass that Deidara had. His manhood quivered, which he quickly tried to hide behind all the ruffles of his skirt. Deidara looked at Sasori. "Why are you fixing your ruffles? We don't need to make our ruffles perfect, the ruffle dictator is at the spa."

Sasori's face reddened more, then he stepped forward, pushing Deidei in a wall and firmly groping his perfect ass. "Deidei, you aren't wearing your panties today." He remarked.

"I couldn't wear them," whined Deidei, feeling Sasori;s sauerkraut against him. It turned him on so hard, harder than Steven Stone in the world's greatest geology convention. "Thinking about your dick all day made me ruin them."

"Oh?" Sasori mumbled, pressing his lips close to Deidara's ear as he slipped his hand's underneath the blonde's uniform. "I couldn't stop staring at your adorable pigtails, and I know you have been a bad boy today, breaking a couple plates. You know what bad boys get, right? Buttsex up the ass."

Sasori quickly rotated Deidei and made him bend over the table, moving his skirt up so he could have adequete access to his mancave.

He wasted no moment sticking his metal extension that wasn;t metal into Deidei;s cave of wonders. Deidei let out a loud moan, like a panda mating with another panda in the ass. It started off slow, Sasori's long shaft going in and out of Deidei at a rhymic pace, kind of like those boring shows grampy would bring you to. Deidei's harpoon was up and ready to fire as Sasori bit at his neck.

"Scream for me Deidei! Scream!" Sasori growled, biting into the blonde's neck and pulling at his pigtails like a young schoolboy would to a young school lass.

Deidara complied and screamed for more. "Oh S-s-saso! Your member is so big! I-I don't think I can handle it anymore! OHHHH!"

Then Deidei shot his manjuice straight into the cupcake display on the table (which forturnately was going to be thrown out anyhow, for goddammit, I am not that gross.)

"YESSS! FROST THE CUPCAKES FOR ME! FROST THEM DEIDEI! OOHHH, I AM GONNA FROST YOUR CUPCAKE SO BAD! OHHH!"

Sasori shoved his pulsating dick as far up the blonde's ass as he could, unable to contain himself any longer. He frosted Deidei's cupcakes until it spilled out and he had frosted buns as well. It was a beautiful sexy moment between two men, as beautiful as buttsex can get.

"Oh Saso~" Deidei moaned, collapsing on the table as Sasori pulled his flaccid penis out. Hooray for saying penis! The two then embraced each other tightly and continued making love for the rest of the night.

The maid café closed shortly after, when the health department visited and found out that when the bakers said the cupcakes were made of love, they were really made of love. Even though they lost their jobs though, Sasori and Deidara still had each other, and as long as they had each other, they had buttsex.


End file.
